This post will not be about fashion.

Fashion is important to me but, friendship has always been more. Why is it then that I can't seem to keep my best friends? This has really been a question that has plagued me for the entire summer and now it's in my face waiting for an answer. Over the summer I found myself calling my best friends and never receiving a message or call back. I tried brushing it off as, "they are busy working and taking summer classes" but, I should have realized something was wrong. However, it's hard to accept or understand why all of a sudden your best friends, the people you put the most trust in and know everything about you, all of a sudden don't want to put the effort into a friendship. I have tried figuring this out. Maybe I have too high of standards. Apparently, it's too much to ask for someone to give you the same respect you give them and be completey honest with you all the time. Apparently. I really can't stand when people lie to my face, it irks me beyond anything else. If your my friend then you know this, then why would you do it? I still have not been able to figure it all out. All I know is that people change, for whatever reason, and decide not to bring me along, not to let me into their "new" life. They decide to be hypocritical and difficult. I'm just so sick of being treated this way. Being lied to stepped all over. I have never been able to keep a "best friend". I really thought that it would change when I got to college. Really thought, that I would graduate(only a few months away) and leave here with some of the best friends of my life, friends I would keep for life. But, like high school right towards the end everyone becomes fake liars. The worst part of this all is that I am living with my "best friend". So everday it's an uphill battle for me to try and figure out what her problem is, why she thinks I'm stupid and can't figure out her lies. Everyday I find out more lies, they are so heavily built upon each other that everything she says is so easily readen into. This semester is testing me, testing my insecurities and testing my abilites to make it through the semester without completely breaking down. I am so sick of feeling alone and betrayed by someone I loved. I know I can't apporach her about anything because she's crazy. She always needs the last word and she is always right in her eyes. It will be my fault. I will be wrong because I am graduating next semester and leaving her here even, though her boyfriend is here and it's her own fault she's not graduating because she changed majors. It will be my fault. Because one of my close friends just moved near here so she needed to go out and make new friends since I'm "no longer around". I know that this is what she will say. Well not say, but scream because she has a horrible temper and does not like to be told she is wrong and making someone upset. She frankly, does not care about anyone but herself. Why do I always wind up making friends with the most selfish people?